I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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