Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
