Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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