we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
