Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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