Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
