What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
