I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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