im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
