I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
