We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
