So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
