Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
