I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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