whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
