dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
