the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
