Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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