When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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