I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
