ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
