Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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