How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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