i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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