she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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