Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
