his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
