Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
