I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
