can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
