Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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