The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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