Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
