drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
