You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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