just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
