why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
