I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
