"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
tell me about the eggs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
