He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
