we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize