so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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