who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
