Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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