hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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