i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
