let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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