playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
