My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
