I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
