Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
