But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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