Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A+ Viking dick
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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