Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
